Saturday, February 28, 2009

My Valentines Music

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach

My awesome hubby for the second year in a row he has put together a list of songs for me and loaded them on to my MP3 player. I love them. He is a quiet guy, so when I listen to the songs the teenage girl inside me feels that they are really just for me. Ya know... like they are his words. Silly huh.

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ~Victor Hugo

V-day 2008

  • Freedom!- George Michael
  • Shadow Of the Day - Linkin Park
  • Everything -Alanis Moissette
  • Only a Fool - The Black Crows
  • What I Like About You - The Romantics
  • Can't Get Enough of You Baby - Smash Mouth
  • Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
  • Loving the Alien - Velvet Revolver
  • Strobe Light - B-52's
  • Deuces Are Wild - Areosmith
  • Somekind of Wonderful - Grand Funk Railroad
  • Only You - Yaz
  • Let My Love Open the Door - Pete Townsend

V-day 2009

  • Smooth - Santana
  • Unbelievable - EMF
  • I Was Made For Lovin' You - Kiss
  • Show Me Your Soul - Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • I''m The One - Van Halen
  • Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows (No, we didn't have to get married.)
  • Lover Rears It's Ugly Head - Living Colour
  • To You Alone - The Beta Band
  • Can't Live Without You - Scorpions
  • Feel Like Makin' Love - Dangerous Toys ( Cover of my favorite song by Bad Company.)
  • Whole Wide World - Wreckless Eric
  • Jungle Love - Morris Day
  • When I First Kissed You - Extreme
  • Lenny - Stevie Ray Vaughan

So, all you Bloggers, if you want to hear some great songs while your little fingers are typing away, go to You Tube or and give' em a listen too.

I also have made a list of song for him the past to years as well, are you ready for them?

Just kiddin' I won't torture you with more lengthly lists.

I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ranting of, " I don't wanna........" abruptly humbled.

I woke up at 5am hit the snooze, 20more mins. Hit the snooze again, 20 more mins, etc... Several weeks ago I started a post titled " I don't wanna...." , never even typed a word. Well this is how I was feeling, " I don't wanna..... get up, let alone freakin' exercise before going to work for 10hrs.

Now, I had got up promptly at 5am; I could of exercised, showered, actually put make up on at home( not while driving or at work) had family prayer, fed the two youngest and got them ready for the day, gave everyone hugs and kisses, packed my lunch, lovingly spent time with the two little ones before dropping them off at neighbors and daycare. Then I would of been at work 10mins early so I that I don't jeopardise my job. That is how I imagine it would of happened. There would of been a few moments of grumbling and whining; but I had exercised, I was ready for anything.

Didn't happen that way. Back to the ticking, or what ever my digital alarm clock does, hit the snooze but only at 10min intervals this time. " I don't wanna..... but you gotta goes through my mind". I drag, roll, flop whatever, out of bed it is only 6:30am . I have time to squeeze in a exercise video if everything goes smoothly, after all I don't have to be to work until 830am. It worked out in the in outermost part of my brain, unfortunately I tend to function from there a lot.

Exercise clothes on, wake up Tommy tell him to shower, put salmon in frying pan on low, then start warm up routine. Going okay so far. Some where in the inner depths of my mind I keep saying,"You should just get the little ones up, get them ready you don't have time to exercise. What the hell are you thinking?"I ignore the those deep thoughts as usual. I am selfish, I have been for a long time. Selfish about my sleep, that is deprived, and about exercising. "Continue forward",, from the out skirts of my mind. So what do I do? Warm up done, quickly put Milo and Lily in the tub, and begin workout routine. My oldest walks through the room I breathlessly wish him a good day at school, I love you. I then tell Tommy he'll have to walk to school and that I love him. Starting to feel the stress; no, not from the exercises, from NOT GETTING OUT OF BED AT 5 AM. Oh well ,got finish what I started, can you say OCD. When I go swimming it drives me crazy if I can't fit in all my laps.

Half way through workout get Lily out of the tub and dressed, tell Milo that when the tub drains he has to get out and get dressed, quickly of course . Workout done Milo still in the tub. Make him get out, and tell him that he had better be dressed by the time I am out of the shower, because we are late. Now any parent knows that when you try to rush a child it does not go smoothly. Out of the shower, he is still naked sitting on the stairs complaining about being cold, "Duh get dressed we got to hurry!"

" What were you thinking?", again from the depths of my mind. I don't know. I don't think my time senses are tingling. Finish packing my lunch, get everyone their bags and such and out the door. This is when I start feeling like a crappy, selfish mother. I should of nurtured and lovely got the kids ready. I didn't swear or anything like that. It was just rush, rush, rush, rush.

Milo doesn't get in the van Lily follows in suit. "Come on WE are late, I don't want to lose my job." Who am I kiddin', I am the late one. Finally in the van and around the corner to drop off Milo at the neighbors, then onward for hopefully quick stop at the daycare for Lily.

Whip into the daycare. Lovingly greeted by the owner, a dear friend, who asks, "How are you?"
"Uh.. late. Would you mind taking Lily back to her class. Oh.. and how are you?"

Silence, my heart sunk. Her husband had been diagnosed with cancer about 2 yrs prior. I could see it in her eyes. "Not so good. Come on Lily give me my hug", she says. Mommy's late (again).

Screeching stop.

As she starts to take Lily from my arms for her hug, I decided I'd better hug her too. As we hug, she says," I am okay, you'd better go. Your late." Duh. I couldn't let go. "What's wrong?" I squeeze her tighter. "They, the doctors, only give him 2 to 3 months to live".

What do you say? I've lost a father to cancer, even had a full term stillbirth baby. I still don't know what to say.

"I Love You!" Guiltily turn Lily over to her and rush out the door.

Pardon the expression, but I felt like an ass!

Here I was all worried about me, me, me. Apparently I wasn't worried about me enough to get out of bed and stop playing the snooze game. Rush, rush, rush. Hurry, hurry , hurry. Seems like all I do.

Had I gotten out of bed I could have exercised, peaceably. Nurtured and loved my little ones. Most of all, been able to give a shoulder to cry on.

Again, my lamp ( mentioned in a previous post) was empty. I suddenly felt that over whelming guilt of failure, to myself, my children, and those truly suffering more than I.

As I drove to work, quickly. I wished I could of had a redo.

The lost connection between my selfish outer thoughts and the solid inner thoughts need some real help. What am I to do? It is blatantly obvious; get the freak out of bed earlier or DO NOT choose to exercise. My choices do affect those around me, they affect my whole day. I felt off.

Most assuredly, the exercising that I did that morning wasn't beneficial. It was stressed, rushed and broken up. Which left me unable to uplift those in need. My mind and my heart were abruptly humbled.

My habits are hard ones to break, at least for me. I want to exercise every day, and also fix everyones problems, hurts....etc. I cannot change over night. But I have been told, "Try little harder, do a little better."

I want to do exactly that.

It is not easy. I am going to try to stop saying, " I don't wanna...."

We all have our own, I don't wanna'

I say get off your @#$ and do it anyway. You'll feel better and so will those around you.

I am grateful and comforted that the Lord will help me, and those who are in need when I drop the ball.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

pokemon cake

Tommy lighting his birthday cake ( 2/21/07). What is it, you say?

I crafted this from a tiny picture in a pokemon book. Tommy always puts a lot of thought into the cake he wants me to make. I usually have to decline several ideas before he presents one that I feel able to sculpt.

Scuplting is definitely what takes place.

Tommy was pleased ,as you can see.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Procastination Momma

Yep it is 830pm and the Valentines Box contest entries are due tomorrow morning. Several weeks ago the first letter about the contest came home. Last Friday another note came home, and again on Monday. Why do I wait til the last minute for such projects? To be honest, I really don't want to go there. I could present a huge argument for a genetic disposition, but saving that for my manager at work. Basically I am late for pretty much everything and those things that I am not late for I am rushed at doing. That's me.

Anyway, I had been thinking about the valentine contest but could not come up with anything that would be a winner, so I put it off til the last minute ( hours ).

What can I make for this contest, "Duh stupid mom, ask Milo. After all it is his valentine box and his contest."
Milo wants to make a T-REX. Okay how many of you have the needed supplies at home to make a green, cool( none the less) dinosaur valentine box? Now be honest.
I had stopped by the grocery store on the way home and bought a packet of multi colored art construction paper. You see, I hadn't totally put the project off. I knew it was emanate that I would be up very late making this said box.

Dad said, " that would be too hard, just decorate a box and put a few valentine hearts on it".

Oh, no way. I am a full time working mom. Milo needs some quality time with Mom. We are gonna make a T-REX.

Sitting on the floor with construction paper, glue, scotch tape, scissors, empty lemonade canister, and Milo. How in the world am I going to do this? Think, think, think........

After a lot of thinking the building began. Scrunching paper and forming head, arms and legs we were on our way. Milo was right there having fun forming a tail and helping with the tape. The foil covered model was complete, and it was only 10pm. Now for the application of dinosaur green paper. Buy the way tape and glue don't stick very well to foil.
Now 1030pm, Milo has given up and was asleep on the couch. I was left to do all the covering and taping my self.

1050pm mad dash to the store before it closes, needed more tape. I was smart enough to buy it when I bought the paper. After all we always have tape, right? NO!

About 12pm the great green T-REX was done.


You never know you just might have all you need at home to make a T-REX, that is if you have construction paper and lots of tape!
I wish I was asleep. I was so tired. Did I go to bed? No, I finished working on the valentine project that I was making for my sexy valentine. Hour and a half later I go to bed. A tired Momma.
Good luck Milo, Hope we win. For those interested the slot for the valentines is conveniently located under his tail.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Can't help but share....

I had another shopping day with little Lil'. She is growing so fast.

We needed some bright colors, ready for spring

This darling dress came with a matching dress for her baby, baby was asleep and couldn't be disturbed during photos. Lil is such a good "mommy".

Makes me smile. Such an innocent smile don't you think?

When I took these pictures I was working on a valentines photo project of my self for my man. I think I'll have to make a valentine photo of Lil' for him also.

" Priceless"

Have agreat day!